Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
