its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
