got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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