I just cut my nipple shaving
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
wow bdsm is so cute
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
jump out the window naked night went bad
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
