it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
