Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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