You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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