and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Panties = found
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
