Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
