Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Ladies don't puke and tell
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
