She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
