I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize