Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
3pm strippers are depressing
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
