i can't believe i had my finger in that
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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