Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I cannot find my penis.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
