you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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