not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
