Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize