If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
