He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize