Are we in a gay sports bar?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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