He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
