The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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