Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We had to coat check the pizza.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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