I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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