Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
