Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
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