I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
