Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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