bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
