how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
