i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
