Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
And the cops told us we were all naked.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize