He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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