I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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