awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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