Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
