Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
