i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
