It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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