you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
