I just cut my nipple shaving
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
