hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
