U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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