tell your sister to shave her snatch
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
