I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pinky promised me she was 18
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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