So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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