JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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