if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
