Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
My hand turned me down
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
