Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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