whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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