New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
