I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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