so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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