well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
