Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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