i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
