i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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