You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
