you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
