please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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