Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
