Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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