I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i dont even know how to be here
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
