are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
