the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
